goodbye blue monday… my return to the middle class

black pinstripe pants… CHECK

button down doucher blouse… CHECK

shoes that aren’t sneakers… CHECK

glasses… CHECK

briefcase with no contents of general importance… CHECK

************************************************************

Ah yes, my friends, I have once again re-entered that highly sought after financial status of “not as broke”. Being that I was a “genius” in choosing to major in Fine Arts, that is QUITE an accomplishment. That, and the fact that I’ve never had the slightest interest in heroin or crappy indie rock… (see previous entry for my thoughts on indie rock)

I had worked the corporate gig a few years back. Well, sort of corporate… I never really had to dress like a douche except for meetings with clients. God I always hated those…

This job is different. I have always done more of the creative/graphic side of things, now, I’ll be doing mostly coding and other techie stuff. I’m kinda stoked. I like being one of the few female techies. I’m proud of myself for getting a traditionally male job.

So today I had to go down to my new impending job and fill out some paperwork and get a photo ID so I can enter the damn building. I felt like a republican today. I kinda looked like a Jehovah’s Witness with my dark slacks and white striped douche blouse. Perhaps I’ll post a picture of my new ID. I have my hair tied tightly back, and boy, do I look like a major douche. But hey, I’m in cognito! When I got home, I rang the doorbell instead, just to teasingly proselytize my boyfriend.

“Hey baby, how’d work go?”

“Did you hear about the Good News?”

“Huh?”

“That Jesus, Our Lord & Saviour, has died for our sins!”

::door closes::

Ha ha, kidding.

Anyhow, I definitely had a good time joking about “stock options” and “401k’s”. I gotta fit in any way I can. I made a huge mistake at my last job, being so openly rebellious and anti-corporate douchebaggery. One should never give anyone a reason to be considered a target. This time, I figure I’ll try to be one of the squares. Besides, I get to move up a tax bracket again. I can dress like a douche for the cash.

Bleh, I think I’m so smart… let’s put that to the test. If I really am as intelligent as I conceitedly think I am, I should be able to manage this new temp gig and see if it’s worth going into a permanent position. I should be able to pass off as a typical corporate slave, with a little self control in keeping my big opinionated mouth shut!

Whoa. I’ll be getting a steady paycheck again for a little while. Being a freelance artist definitely has its perks, but freelance anything means there will be rough times. There’s no avoiding that. Every once in a while, a kick ass job comes along meaning I only have to work a few months out of the year.

I hope I can maintain the discipline of the modest lifestyle I’ve grown accustomed to. I truly value the freedom that goes along with sporadic employment and meager funding. Plus, when you’re broke, it’s easier to tell who your real friends are, but I digress…

It’s also been a childhood dream to be working downtown NYC’s financial district. I never dreamed that I would be working “in computers”, yet there I was this morning. Wearing snarky glasses, dressed like a douche, with briefcase in hand. One of these days, I’m going to walk up and down Wall Street, shouting into my cellphone to some imaginary call,

“I SAID SELL, GOD DAMN IT!!!”

or

“YOU’RE FIRED!!!”

Even though I’m a web designer, nobody would know anyways! Besides, I now have the douche uniform, so nobody’d suspect a thing. When in Rome…

Speaking of, I should practice my watercooler talk.

“So how about those Mets/Yankees/Knicks/Jets?”

Ugh… this shall be an interesting experiment. I like to view “work” as a means to pay for my next trip to Amsterdam, Hawaii, or where ever my heart desires. Hmm. I should buy a book on learning Dutch…

IK SPREEK GEEN NEDERLANDS!!!